Thinking back, where did all the time go? I feel like I just started my 50 days countdown on Instagram and now we are already 10 days away from the #farahandaminwedding?! Everything seems surreal right now, have been losing my sleep being anxious, god when will this end?
As the big day draws nearer, time has been super slow. And that’s what that triggers my anxiety towards all this. Do you wanna know how it feels like? It feels like I’m constantly trying to pull myself out of the dark hole that is sucking me into distraught.
Everyday feels like a tug-of-war, but I’m battling myself. I don’t know what the thing is that is making me feel like this, is it the fact that I am getting married? Is it because we are running out of time? Have I prepared all the thing needed to be done? I don’t know.
Note that I am not at all regretting/doubting my decisions, it’s just what anxiety does to you, I guess? Blaming yourself for feeling this way, wanting to run away from this hectic world, lots more. I am feeling it all. But I trust that Allah SWT is with me.
Sometimes when anxiety takes over me, I try to remember of the good times in my life. I try to remember all the blessings that I have had. It keeps me sane. I don’t exactly feel nervous yet, but it’s more to being overwhelmed and anxious.
I don’t really show it to people (even though I am now blogging about it), because it usually comes during the night where I am alone and these thoughts will haunt me. What thoughts, you ask? I don’t know myself. But please pray for my mind to be sane please people LOL.
- 1.a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome
Anyway, I feel like sharing with you people some old photos of me and Mr A since I am having them in my laptop now. Look at the fetus version of Mr A LOL!
These are just some of the many many pictures that I have have. Trust me I have more than 2K pictures WHUT. Maybe when I feel like sharing more yea!