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16.1.16

A Good Read

Tips Alam Rumahtangga

Pernikahan bukan semata-mata ikatan halal yang membenarkan sebuah perasaan cinta dan kasih sayang, tetapi ia juga adalah tanggungjawab.

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Sharing is indeed, caring.

Let your inner voices and thoughts be heard!

I’d really love to hear your thoughts and stories on marriage, being single, having kids, why marriage is for you or why it is not, advice for the married ones, ANYTHING along those lines. I think it’ll be really interesting to listen to stories and thoughts from different people of different backgrounds.

Of course I’ll continue to blog, but I thought, why not start something new and interesting here? You can choose to stay anonymous or you can be as you are, either ways I’d still respect your decision. And yes, you can be from anywhere in the world!

You may have noticed that I do share articles from other blogs occasionally which I found interesting and helpful and that is where I aim for my blog to go to – to be able to inspire and help people in a way or two. So, it’s easy!

You can just email me your thoughts/stories/advices to frhamxra@hotmail.com with your name, where you are from, if you want to stay anonymous (or not), content and social media (if any). That’s all! Hope you all will feel inspired to share with me and my readers all about your thoughts and stories.

See you in my next post!

A Good Read

Jodoh; Perlu Usaha dan Tawakal

Jangan terus mengalah dengan alasan, “jodoh itu di tangan Tuhan”. Kadang-kadang bila jodoh lambat sampai, ianya mungkin disebabkan kesalahan-kesalahan kita sendiri dan bukannya dari Allah.

Half-a-Year Gone!

Alhamdulillah, in a blink of an eye (at least that’s how I felt lol), exactly six months of marriage have flown by just like that! I’m sure it’ll be very interesting to know how’s life being married at such a young age. Trust me, and be ready, because I’m not going to paint a beautiful picture for you all.

Let’s recap; me and Mr. A got married on the 16th of January, 2016 (16.1.16). It was indeed, one of the most blessed decision I have ever made. We’ve been together for three years before we got engaged, and coming to five years before we finally tied the knot. I will not just sit here and say, marriage life and the relationship before that was the same.

Sometimes we tend to always say, after being with someone for years and years, we know them in and out. We know them like they are our soulmates. In my opinion now, I was wrong. In fact, I was so wrong. I mean, not like in a bad way. It’s kind of like a culture shock, you know what I mean?

The first few months were kind of exhausting, I must say. Trying to adapt to changes, knowing there’s the two of you now, coming to a decision is much harder, chores have to be divided (accordingly and fairly), you can hear all the sigh-ings and mumbling, there’s nowhere to hide when you are sad and loads more.

There will be a period, where the both of you will constantly be in disagreements and will fight even about the smallest things. Why? It’s called adapting. I mean, it’s like learning to ride a bicycle. You have to fall down and bleed over and over again to know you’re never going to make the same mistakes again right?

And once you’ve got the hang of it, it will be a breeze. I’ve never experienced what I experience now in a marriage. I felt like I’ve learnt a whole new meaning to what’s responsibility, respect, sacrifices, understanding and trust. I believe that you mature each day, and every day is a learning process.

Responsibility; Each day, I have to give myself a friendly reminder that I have a husband to take care of. Not only of his food and drink, but also his heart, his feelings, basically his presence overall. So it’s my responsibility to make sure he’s content with my presence and companion around him.

Besides, heart and feelings, it’s my responsibility too to make sure that the house is well cleaned and taken proper care of. Trust me, your husband will be content if he comes home to a well-groomed wife, with the house clean and no mess. Personally, I’m content too if my house smells nice and is well taken care of.

Respect; I’m sure when you made the decision to get married, your partner is not one to play around and have a fling etc. You both know it’s time to settle down, bring out the best out of your spouse and be there for each other till death (if god willing). So, respect can come in various ways and how you portray it.

One way is to not act up easily when in an argument. Listen, analyse what he/she is saying, take it in, then only say what’s important and could bring the problem to an end. There’s no use bringing up the past, hating on each other, blaming one another, shouting in each others’ faces or bringing each other down.

Another way to respect your spouse is not to prolong an argument and try to avoid any possible arguments or just simply keep quiet. At the end of the day, you guys are living with each other and possibly till the end of time so, why not use up the time fighting by being happy with each other’s companion?

And lastly about respect, it’s important to carry yourself with utmost dignity wherever you go. Note to yourself that, you are now married and it’s important to take care of your family’s and spouses’ names right? Most important, we must learn to respect ourselves enough first to be able to respect someone wholeheartedly. Hope you all get what I mean.

Sacrifices; It’s not easy, trust me. Especially when it comes to ones’ family. You kind of have, ‘two sides’ now. You have to learn to be fair and to give & take. You have to accept your spouses’ family and parents regardless of how they are – vice versa. Sometimes it can be stressful, for me it’s especially during Eid.

You have to make time for both sides! And the fact that we only have like what, roughly 8 days of weekends only doesn’t make it easy for newlyweds. We have to equally divide the time to make sure, we get to go visiting for both sides of the family. But for the rest of the year, just ensure you visit both your parents every once in a while!

Another thing about sacrifice, is work. When work comes into the picture, time is the only main factor that gets sacrificed. You get to spend lesser time with them, mainly in the evening and also lesser time to ensure the house is proper and everything is well taken care of. So what do I do when I get back from work?

First thing is to cook. Yes, I work from 9 – 6 daily for 5 days a week and yes, I am VERY tired. But sacrifice, remember? But what does my Mr. A do? Just sit and relax? No! He’ll help wherever possible like when I’m cooking, he’ll do the vacuuming/mopping. If not, he’ll  help to clean up after I’ve finished cooking.

PLEASE husbands/husbands to be (if any of you are reading), help your wife! It’ll be so much fun and when the workload is divided equally, both will be happy. So it’s worth it! After cooking and eating and washing all the dishes, spend time by watching tv shows/videos together.

For me and Mr. A, our daily routine is GOOD MYTHICAL MORNING by Rhett & Link! Omg we have so much fun watching them and also we watch Shane Dawson on a daily basis, basically anything that’ll bring laughter to the house. We’d spend time with our cat and rabbit, or watch a movie if it’s Friday night!

Go to bed early guys! That is like so important for us, actually. It’ll help both of you relax, you can have a heart to heart talk, plan the future and for me, it’s kinda nice to be able to wind down after a long day and just relax with them. Minimize the use of cellphones please! You can do that on the way to work whatsoever 😀

Understanding; I can’t emphasize how important being understanding is in a relationship in words. How you or your spouse were before married, try not to change that. An example in my case, Mr. A loves to play computer/mobile games and is freaking passionate about Manchester United LOL. He talks about it almost every day and gaming wise, yeah he spend a good amount of time on it.

After being married, yes it kinda frustrates me that he’s always on the phone especially during the soccer Transfer Window Season (I think that’s what they call it) and sometimes, he’ll play games for 3 hours straight. But to me, trying to make him STOP all that seems ridiculous.

So I told him, please, reduce your gaming time and spend more time with me. You can also focus on your soccer news when you are not with me during the day. So he understood it and we both tried to make it work. Alhamdulillah it has been great, so that’s one thing I could give an advise on.

Trust; This is like the foundation of your relationship people! It’s easy to explain, don’t get jealous over small things, let your spouses spend time with her/his friends (not doing stupid things like clubbing/drinking etc.). After all,  I’m sure the reason you married your spouse is because you trust them to be your life partner right?

Another concept of trust is, you gotta trust that your spouse is going to be a good husband/wife. Don’t bring your spouse down, but bring them up and give them confidence instead. Trust your spouse to be able to give you a good life (with effort and hard work of course).

Trust your spouse to never leave you no matter what. This is important because sometimes, couples argue and they’ll lose trust. Try to hold on, be grateful, be positive and trust god that good things will come. I trust that Mr. A prefers me over Manchester United. Right Mr. A? HAHA!

No for real, me over Man-U right?!

Anyway, I know some will say “Oh you’ve only been married for 6 months, you know nothing yet about hardships in marriage BLAH BLAH BLAH”. Like I’ve said multiple times in my previous posts, there will always be people bringing you down and think they’re better. But who cares?

I’m sharing only what could be of benefit (in shaa Allah to married couples/soon-to-be married couples. Age doesn’t define maturity. Experiences does. There are days where me and Mr. A would only eat Maggi noodles for the whole day. But there are days where we would spend time dating outside and eating nice food.

We each have our own hardships and good times, but I’m not afraid to share it. Hardship comes in many forms, and it’s important we have trust and faith in god and know that it won’t rain forever. We get up, we have fun, we seek positive vibes and we set goals for ourselves.

I wish the very best for all married couples or couples that are planning to get married. Know that there WILL BE very hard times, but when the good times follow up after that, it’ll be all worth it. Love each other, stay strong for each other. That’s important. 6 months or 35 years, having faith in each other that counts.

One last thing, if you are ever wondering when am I getting pregnant, NOT YET! The time will come. Haha!

Ten More Days?! | Rant

Thinking back, where did all the time go? I feel like I just started my 50 days countdown on Instagram and now we are already 10 days away from the #farahandaminwedding?! Everything seems surreal right now, have been losing my sleep being anxious, god when will this end?

As the big day draws nearer, time has been super slow. And that’s what that triggers my anxiety towards all this. Do you wanna know how it feels like? It feels like I’m constantly trying to pull myself out of the dark hole that is sucking me into distraught.

Everyday feels like a tug-of-war, but I’m battling myself. I don’t know what the thing is that is making me feel like this, is it the fact that I am getting married? Is it because we are running out of time? Have I prepared all the thing needed to be done? I don’t know.

Note that I am not at all regretting/doubting my decisions, it’s just what anxiety does to you, I guess? Blaming yourself for feeling this way, wanting to run away from this hectic world, lots more. I am feeling it all. But I trust that Allah SWT is with me.

Sometimes when anxiety takes over me, I try to remember of the good times in my life. I try to remember all the blessings that I have had. It keeps me sane. I don’t exactly feel nervous yet, but it’s more to being overwhelmed and anxious.

I don’t really show it to people (even though I am now blogging about it), because it usually comes during the night where I am alone and these thoughts will haunt me. What thoughts, you ask? I don’t know myself. But please pray for my mind to be sane please people LOL.

anxiety
aŋˈzʌɪəti/
noun
  1. 1.
    a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome

Anyway, I feel like sharing with you people some old photos of me and Mr A since I am having them in my laptop now. Look at the fetus version of Mr A LOL!

These are just some of the many many pictures that I have have. Trust me I have more than 2K pictures WHUT. Maybe when I feel like sharing more yea!

Wedding Preparations Part 6 | Final Checklist

Suddenly I thought of sharing with you guys a little bit more details on my wedding checklist (the most essential ones/as of now) and I may miss out on a few little things so don’t mind me yea!

Official Wedding Hashtag: #farahandaminwedding

ROMM Registration: Registered on the 20th of August 2015

Kadi: Maaroof Bin Haji Mohamad

Venue: Masjid Al-Istighfar @ Pasir Ris

Catering: Dapur Bedah

Bridal Makeup Artist: Makeup by Hafizah Yazed

Henna Artist: Henna by Nuryn Eddy

Bridal Heels: Pazzion

Bridal Outfit (Solemnization): Blaus @ Tanjong Katong Complex (Bought)

Bridal Outfit (Mr. A’s Side): WA Clothing (Bought)

Bouquet: Colours Of Autumn SG

Wedding Invitation Cards: From Fran With Love

Paper Bags & Stickers for Favors (Bride): From Fran With Love

Wedding Favors (Bride): By Shereen S. & Tasbih Qaseh

Wedding Favors (Groom): A Love Knot

Dais Decor @ Groom’s Side: Naf Design and Ideas

Wedding Photographer: Sponsored

Bridesmaid Dresses: Poplook

Wedding Trays (Dulang): DIY

As of now that is all I have in my checklist! I am so so excited because we are only 19 days away O M G! I will definitely do up a separate post (with pictures) on all the gifts I have as dulang hantaran for the groom’s side at a later date In shaa Allah. 

I am kind of in the last lap of my wedding preparations where I feel like I am just waiting for the day to finally come but at the same time, there are still little bits and bobs that still needs to be done. Do follow my Snapchat @farahamxra for more BTS(s) of my wedding/home preparations!

Wedding Preparations Part 5 | 34 Days Left

Nervous? Yes. Excited? Yes. Overwhelmed? Yes? Anxious? Yes, every night.

I can’t believe, we are only left with 34 days to the big day. Felt like it was only last month I got engaged to Mr. A. But in fact, last month was the first year of our engagement. How time flies?

Thinking about it, it will be 4 days to 30 days left. And then it becomes 29. And then 9 days to 20 days left. And then it becomes 19. It goes on till it reaches a single digit. I have been feeling all these mixed emotions in me because I kind of don’t know how to feel?

Everything has just been overwhelming for me because me and Mr. A have been very busy these few weekends (he’s working on weekdays so our weekends are fully occupied) settling errands for our marriage and also our new house.

Alhamdulillah, we have bought like 70% of the furniture etc. and we are only left with a few more before the house will be fully completed in shaa Allah. I couldn’t be more thankful to the people around us that have been supporting us and we feel so blessed definitely.

We are only left with 4 weekends before our wedding weekend and it kind of depresses me out. I don’t know why because all that is in my wedding checklist have been ticked. I am just literally waiting for the big day already.

Registered my marriage at ROMM, booked my kadi, booked my venue, booked my catering, bought my wedding outfits, booked my henna (nxedhenna by Nuryn Eddy) and makeup (Makeup by Hafizah Yazed), booked my bouquet (Colours of Autumn SG), got my invitation cards & wedding favor paper bags from (From Fran With Love), bought/booked all my wedding favors (there’s two; from By Shereen S and Tasbih Qaseh), booked my photographer, bought my bridesmaid dresses (Poplook) and all my gubahan/hantaran (gifts) for Mr. A.

I don’t know if I missed anything but alhamdulillah, couldn’t be more thankful and blessed. I am just left with preparing my wedding favors etc. and now more of the preparations are for my new home. It makes me so excited, and so nervous at the same time and I hope so much that with these two emotions together in my head, I won’t have a mental breakdown as the date gets nearer.

Well everything won’t be so perfect like how you imagined you want it to be. Planning for a wedding/marriage/new home isn’t as easy because you have got to hold your emotions in through everything with your partner. There will be miscommunication, not being satisfied with something and loads more.

For now, hope you all will pray for my thoughts to be stable LOL. 34 days is not long man! Anyway that is all for today’s post, do follow me at my snapchat; farahamxra for more BTS of my wedding/home preparations!

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